“The strongest love is the love that can demonstrate its fragility.”
Paulo Coelho, Eleven Minutes

A very attractive woman in her 40s came to see me the other day.  Suffering in a troubled marriage for decades, her husband had constantly cheated on her while she had remained devoted to the home and 3 kids until a few months ago.

“I never thought about love all these years. It was all about children and raising them right. And then I met someone who just did something to me and I fell in love so hard. I cannot describe it, all I want is him to be happy.” She wept and babbled about a man she’d met and their current relationship could only be described as a deep soulmate connection.

“I love him like I’ve never loved anyone else. I am too afraid to tell him. What if he doesnt feel that way, I will never be able to face him again. He’s brought out a side of me I had hidden all these years, and yet when I think of him and I, I am again afraid as he deserves someone better than me, someone younger, someone who can have his children”

And then she wept in such a way I ended up crying with her. When I read her cards they spoke of undying love, inspirational love, facing her fears and most importantly loving oneself.

Love and fear go hand in hand. When we love someone so deeply we cannot help but fear losing them. Unresolved fears creep out of the closet and engulf us. Fear of a broken heart. Fear of being rejected. Fear of being cheated upon. Fear of being unloved. Fear of the power of love.

But when we understand that Love has to begin with ourselves we realise that there can never be fear. When we look at our beloved as a teacher not as someone to be deified but someone with someone valuable to give us there is peace. His presence in her life was to awaken all the dormant feelings within her, to show her the path to true love begins and ends with a loving relationship with oneself.

She left smiling wistfully, her fears a little lesser and with a deeper desire to explore her own heart. As she stepped out she said “I get it. The more love I feel for myself, the less fear I will have.”

Right my dearie, right.