Time and time again I wipe away the tears of a woman who couldn’t help but fall in love with a married man. The initial time they spent together were heady, happy and so full of potential he promised to leave his uncaring, insensitive wife and start a new life with her. And it was these very promises he made that kept the flame of their secret love burning all this while. But like all flames that get tired of flickering and fears burning out, the woman turns to the cards for answers to her questions.
Questions reveal deep inner angst and an urgent desire for answers to questions like “though there is apparent commitment from both ends, the relationship is not moving forward because of his divorce. Why the stagnation? Why does he keep disappearing in the relationship. What do I need know about his wife? Will I fulfil my dream of marriage?” There’s another man who is really interested in me? What should I know about him? Will I lose an opportunity for happiness if things with my married friends do not end in divorce?”
And then the Tarot offers insights.
Instead of giving her dates and assurances, they bring her face to face with a side of her own self she may have been ignoring all these years. And she discovers the men who have loved her were simply too afraid to slip a ring on her finger. And it was time not to wait and hope for that gnawing feeling inside to go away, it was time to understand, heal and grow as a soul. Her married man wasn’t leaving his wife in a hurry, and it wasn’t about her in the first place it was about him fearing the stigma, fearing the pain he would cause his wife, and him fearing the deep neediness that seemed to exist in the eyes of this young woman.
The time had come in her life to go inwards and not expect the men in her life to give her the antidote to her pain.
If she chose to forget him and follow the attractions of the second man, the pattern would repeat itself. And in a couple of years time, she would be in the exact same spot, waiting for the new man to leave his wife. The lesson was not about the men, it was about her discovering her own inner strength. Which had nothing to do with a mangalsutra or a ring. Or the fact that somewhere she believed an unmarried woman is weaker. And hers was not a case of being financially dependent in the least as she was a professional success. Yes, tradition was behind this but she could no longer blame her parents, her uncles and her aunts for re-enforcing this fear. She needed to find the courage to feel that inner strength and discover that voice inside her which said “Yes I can, with or without him”
The minute we discover we are our own sources of security, we find that peace. We no longer exert pressure or expect too much from our loved ones to be with us. We give them that freedom in love. They can be who they are and want to be and all they need to know is that they are loved. Learning to relax in the present moment, to appreciate the blessings of her life would be the first steps in the journey. And the more secure she began to feel with her own self, the higher the chance of an enduring relationship with her men. Her own inner security was the key to her happiness in love.
I emailed the report with a prayer, that she understood and learned what was interpreted in her cards. Because the joy she would then discover would be greater than anyone could wish for her.