Letting go is one of the hardest practices we will encounter, but once we do it, we wonder why we did’nt do it sooner. Many a times we find ourselves stuck about someone or something and people tell us to “let go”.
But how?
Here’s a few tried techniques that may work for you if you are struggling with something. Remember very very few of us have the ability to let go in a second. For the majority of us the process takes many tries. and time. Be patient, be persistent.
- Write it down and burn it.
Struggling with a relationship that’s over. Disturbed by someone’s insensitive behaviour which you find difficult to forgive? Psychologists and Healers recommend writing a long letter to them, pouring out your feelings and allowing the process to be cathartic. Get in touch with your feelings, remember what happened and write out your soul. When you’re done, just burn the letter. Chances are you may feel lighter and purged of your pain.
2. Connect with the Inner You
Meditate and focus on your breathing. Start paying attention to your mind and your body. Start getting aligned with you, your space, your feelings and thoughts. Too many times when we find ourselves too attached to others the pain comes as a reminder to detach and focus entirely on your seperateness from them. Get in touch with YOU. Appreciate and accept your who you are. Understand you cannot change anyone but yourself. Allow any feelings to arise and be kind with yourself.
3. Look for Closure
Most relationships break up without closure. People disappear without giving answers. And those who are left holding on wait for a final goodbye or some sort of sign from them to close the chapter. When it doesn’t happen, we have no choice but to find closure within ourselves. Say “My relationship with X is over” out loud during meditation, write it out, or talk to a trusted soul. Acknowledge and accept that it’s over. When you reach a space that someone or something was not meant to be in your life for a reason (which you may or may never know) you allow yourself to disconnect and restart.
4. Forgive Yourself. Forgive Them
The process of forgiveness can take a long time and comes with its share of reliving the pain. The pain is but a passing energy, let it flow out, once and for all. Contemplate on all the mistakes you made, realise your humanness. Contemplate on their mistakes, realise their humanness. Consciously work at forgiving and allow the peace to come in.
5. Distract Yourself
I find this technique works the fastest and at a practical level, it’s do-able. The key is to be mindful. Whenever you find overthinking about someone or something, do an activity that breaks the pattern. Clean your drawer. Delete the Junk mail. Go outdoors. Use your hands. It works in seconds as an important part of the process of letting go.
Letting go takes time and when it doesn’t happen naturally, we need to push ourselves out of our comfort zones to speed up the process. Not easy but necessary for our own growth. We allow ourselves a second chance and as the wise ones have always told us “when one door closes, another opens.”
If you’re still finding it difficult to let go, reach out for a guided healing meditation on Letting Go to get you started on your process of restarting and reshaping your life. Email me at mita.bhan@gmail.com for details.
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