The cards seemed to nod and assured her he still loved her.
“When will he return?”
The card of Patience loomed large. It could take several weeks or months for him to realise just how much she meant to him. And he would need some time and space to actually understand his own heart. Let him be. Let him explore his own heart and soul and realise that you are the one.
“Whatttt???? Why can’t he hurry up?????”
The cards chose to be silent, and in the background crooned Phil Collins.
“You can’t hurry love No, you’ll just have to wait She said “love don’t come easy But it’s a game of give and take” You can’t hurry love, no you’ll just have to wait“
Copyright Mita Bhan. All Rights Reserved
Questions about the love of your life? Get in touch – mita.bhan@gmail.com for details.
Love is the most powerful, positive and all encompassing energy there is. It cannot be confined to labels and spaces, it just is. And what better day than today to celebrate all the shades of Love. Happy Valentine’s Day all 🙂
My mom only had one eye. I hated her… She was such an embarrassment. She cooked for students and teachers to support the family.
There was this one day during elementary school where my mom came to say hello to me. I was so embarrassed.
How could she do this to me? I ignored her, threw her a hateful look and ran out. The next day at school one of my classmates said, “EEEE, your mom only has one eye!”
I wanted to bury myself. I also wanted my mom to just disappear. I confronted her that day and said, “If you’re only gonna make me a laughing stock, why don’t you just die?”
My mom did not respond… I didn’t even stop to think for a second about what I had said, because I was full of anger. I was oblivious to her feelings.
I wanted out of that house, and have nothing to do with her. So I studied real hard, got a chance to go abroad to study.
Then, I got married. I bought a house of my own. I had kids of my own. I was happy with my life, my kids and the comforts. Then one day, my Mother came to visit me. She hadn’t seen me in years and she didn’t even meet her grandchildren.
When she stood by the door, my children laughed at her, and I yelled at her for coming over uninvited. I screamed at her, “How dare you come to my house and scare my children! GET OUT OF HERE! NOW!!!”
And to this, my mother quietly answered, “Oh, I’m so sorry. I may have gotten the wrong address.” – and she disappeared out of sight.
One day, a letter regarding a school reunion came to my house. So I lied to my wife that I was going on a business trip. After the reunion, I went to the old shack just out of curiosity.
My neighbors said that she died. I did not shed a single tear. They handed me a letter that she had wanted me to have.
“My dearest son,
I think of you all the time. I’m sorry that I came to your house and scared your children.
I was so glad when I heard you were coming for the reunion. But I may not be able to even get out of bed to see you. I’m sorry that I was a constant embarrassment to you when you were growing up.
You see……..when you were very little, you got into an accident, and lost your eye. As a mother, I couldn’t stand watching you having to grow up with one eye. So I gave you mine.
I was so proud of my son who was seeing a whole new world for me, in my place, with that eye.
La Douleur Exquise, a French phrase for the pain of wanting the love of someone unattainable Goddess Deck, personal collection
He couldn’t help him himself. He didn’t choose to fall in love. It just happened, the only problem was she was married and leaving her spouse was simply out of the question. When I read his cards I could see the deep love he shared with her – the kind of love where happiness and sadness went hand in hand.
He was younger than her. Settled in a high paying job. Perfectly eligible for marriage himself. And his mother and aunts made sure they showed him pictures of various girls who they felt would be his Mrs Right. Most of the time he ignored them and sometimes would even shout at them for bothering him, his voice riddled in pain and frustration.
He had tried letting go. Multiple times. In multiple ways. But somehow she found her way back into his heart and once again they’d chat, or meet. And once again he’d return to his room lying awake through the night, wondering if this was his future.
His question was simple.
“Why has she come into my life if I cannot have her as my wife?”
For one second look at this question not as a human being. But as a soul.
Love is never limited to romantic love. Love is like an umbrella encapsulating the different shades of love. And if we as souls want to experience the true meaning of Love, we need to experience every aspect of love. The joy, the pain, the longing, the peace. In lifetime after lifetime. Be it unrequited love, sibling love, platonic love, romantic love, spiritual love. Each lifetime brings a different scenario, a different learning. Lessons would be repeated until the learning was complete. And the advanced lessons would get harder.
“So what is my Soul Learning?” he asked
To accept and not resist. Love is harmony. Love is being at peace. First with ourselves and then with the other. A part of you still struggles and suffers this way. Make peace with the side of you that cries in pain. Begin to fall in love with yourself. Which part of you brings you the greatest happiness, which part of you still struggles. Embrace the shadows, find completion in yourself. Accept yourself wholly.
“And then……”
When you accept your self, you accept the other unconditionally and the situation for what it is in reality, not the way you would like it to be, something we all do when we fall in love. We think of “what if” “why isn’t it? instead of appreciating the greatest lesson in life. Love.
“You mean love her unconditionally but ….wouldn’t it would hurt so much…”his voice broke for a second.
The feeling of love we all seek, does not lie in the receiving. It exists in the giving.
“I get it”
The deck was closed. The lesson learnt. For not just the young seeker in love, but also his old Tarot card reader.
The Yin Yang Symbol. Everything has to come back to balance.
I still remember the first time she came for a session. Tears and rage burned in her eyes covering a deep wound in her heart.
“I want revenge. He’s seeing someone from his office romantically. AGAIN”
The Tarot confirmed an affair, but she knew it already. Women always know. The cards pointed at a narcissistic spouse, one who lived purely for himself, playing absent father to his 2 children and blaming this lady for all his misery. The kind who sing softly about their wives follies behind their back to sympathetic ears and bosoms. Her anger was beyond that. She didn’t care what he was telling his lovers, she only wanted him to feel her pain.
“This is not the first time. And this one won’t be the last. I don’t want to tell him I know this time. I only want revenge” She covered her face and wept in shame, the tears of a woman who’d never taken revenge before in her life.
“The last time he had an affair and I found out he promised to keep this marriage going for the sake of the children. Why did he break his vows? I want him to repent”
The messages she received urged her to find peace among her loved ones. Her friends and family her pets. To soak up all the unconditional love she possibly could. She needed to be strong first with those who loved her.
” This is a karmic relationship. Don’t get into the negative zone. No need for revenge, let karma do it for you.”
I could see she wasn’t convinced. But karma is like that. We don’t really believe in it until we’re hit by the impact of a karmic relationship. We like to believe it’s outside us, but somewhere in some way we too are responsible for creating a karmic situation where the pain cuts so deep, it almost seems unhealable.
“Forgive him and move on with your life”
I didn’t hear from her again till a few days ago when this came in the mail.
“Just wanted to say thank you for being the only one who told me not take revenge on my cheating husband and let karma only decide what his fate is. Everyone else gave me so many remedies to bring him closer, to destroy the other woman but nothing has worked. Some people even predicted that he would destroy himself. But I dont want to hurt him the way he has hurt me and my children. This IS a karmic relationsip, And then I remembered what your cards said to forgive him and move on. It is very very hard and has been a very painful journey to let go of the abuse and the adultery. But I am getting there. One night I felt so light because I had forgiven him and no longer began to feel any need to take revenge. I found the strength to live my own life and be a mother and father to my teenaged children. He is facing his own karma. His children do not want to be with him anymore. I have found so much strength with my friends and my family. Please share my story so others can learn please say a prayer for me”
Many prayers to you my brave lady. You have demonstrated what very few of us have achieved in this lifetime. The willingness and the ability to forgive the person who has hurt you the most. I pray you find greater strength and peace as a soul.
If you’ve read this far, please say a prayer for this lady.
Copyright Mita Bhan. All Rights Reserved.
For privacy sake, no names and details will ever be revealed, case studies are shared for all of us to learn from.
“Love Yourself” is probably the most frequently transmitted message we receive in our day to day lives from the Universe. Though it may sound like a “passing buzzword” that’s sometimes shiny and sometimes dull, it keeps on coming our way. But we choose to skip it. Some of us practice self love occasionally and then move on to other things. If you’ve ever wondered why, here are 5 possible reasons you may be giving up.
Disbelief – You just cannot believe how self love will work. Somewhere you think it’s a fad, or it’s not for you or you just aren’t good enough. Ask yourself why you gave up and realise this is a lifelong practice to make peace with ourselves.
Quitting too Soon – Too many people give up the practice after a few days or weeks, not realising that it takes time to heal years of low self worth and like all forms of practice, there will be dull days. The times when we feel most disappointed with ourselves is when we most need to practice this. Just dont quit!
External Sources – This could be watching the news everyday and feeling such an overwhelming sense of negativity you just stop bothering. Or a change in routine (sudden workload for example) where you simply don’t find the time and forget.
Old Habits – Habits are hard to break, and harder to make. Some say it takes 21 days of consistent effort for a good habit to form and even longer to release the urge to binge, criticise ourselves or break the exercise routine.
Other’s Opinions. No matter what wear, say or do, there will always be some people who just won’t like you. Or will do what they can to put you down or make you feel small. Just keep loving yourself and remember, haters gotta hate. If you’re depending on others to love you to make you feel good about yourself you’ll always be disappointed. Start by approving of yourself, a little bit every day.
Ultimately, self love is a personal process. One that needs no one to approve of us and has no deadline. Do what works for you, and just don’t quit. And if you do, get back up and start loving who you are all over again:)
Bless the hearts of the founders of Salam Balak Trust and all their volunteers for giving love, food, shelter, education and employment to the boys who live in their shelter in New Delhi.
Being a child on the streets of Delhi is no playground.The harshest, roughest neighbourhood brings out a strong, survival instinct, and a certain intelligence that’s a blend of street smart and an intuitive understanding of Life. Raising them right too requires a sensitivity and a firmness inculcating a sense of discipline and eventual purpose.
When I walked in this morning armed with my notes on teaching kids how to manage their anger, I was surprised by their answers. Each one had a particular insight to share.
When asked how do you handle anger, almost all of them spoke of bashing up the bad guy except one. “When I feel angry, I just go to my room and dance” He already knew how to channel the energies of anger.
Guided healing meditations with the boys
When we spoke of breathing techniques and practiced sharp exhales, one boy remarked “I know this, this is kapaalbhaati and it’s good for health” The session continued in dialogue, laughter and shared learnings.
When they closed their eyes in meditation and received hands on healing I understood the real meaning of ‘all is one”
Thank you young souls, may you grow up to be the change our world needs. And heartfelt thanks to my friends and family who support me:)
This morning I walked into the Arushi Children’s Home for girls all prepared to take a Guided Healing Meditation Workshop on Self Love. What I wasnt prepared for was the amount these strong, fearless, cheerful young girls taught me.
Here’s where it began:
www.salaambaalaktrust.comThe Arushi Children’s Home for Girls is a residential shelter under the aeges of the Saalam Baalak Trust. Around 40 girls under the age of 18 live here under the supervision and care of a dedicated team of trained and compassionate people who ensure they are safe, nurtured and empowered. https://www.salaambaalaktrust.com/full-care-residential-programme.phpThe Apeejay Anand library was a sweet haven of knowledge with books for all age groups. “Show them all the beauty they possess inside“ Whitney Houston“I love myself just as I am” “I love the people no one loves” “I love only God. I see God in me” The girls revealed such powerful answers about themselves in the writing and sharing exercises. Embrace yourself. You are perfect just as you are.And here we are. Thank you for the lessons you taught me in return. Lessons in courage, strength, hope, acceptance.Thank you to all my friends and family members who helped me with the stationery and the goody bags. Rohan, my little brother in heaven. This was for you:)
