Every Tarot reader will tell you about the number of queries that come in each week asking about a partner’s infidelity. Sometimes it’s the wife who discovers her husband is meeting his colleague long after work hours, sometimes it’s the boyfriend who discovers chat messages on his partners phone. Their shock, pain and anger is palpable across the distance and a reading not only reveals the presence of a third party but also the fact that they had been leaving enough clues way before the painful discovery.
Here are a few clues or signs your partner may be cheating.
You get a funny feeling about them. You know when they are lying about why they’re out so often. You know from their energy that’s something’s different. You can’t put your finger on it, but your gut tells you.
They act ultra possessive or aggressive about their phone and spend more time than usual either texting or talking.
Their stories don’t add up and the excuses keep changing.
They may not be so intimate with you anymore or begin criticising your appearance or sexual performance.
Sudden interest in changing their appearance, buying new clothes, dyeing their hair, going in for a makeover.
When confronted they get irritated and claim to be just friends.
Losing interest in the family or things you once did together.
Blaming you for making them cheat.
Whatever may be the signs, whatever may be their reasons and whatever you may choose to do after you discover your partner has been cheating, a Tarot session may be able to validate your suspicions and give you guidance, but one thing remains clear. If a little voice inside you is telling you they’re cheating, they are.
The cards seemed to nod and assured her he still loved her.
“When will he return?”
The card of Patience loomed large. It could take several weeks or months for him to realise just how much she meant to him. And he would need some time and space to actually understand his own heart. Let him be. Let him explore his own heart and soul and realise that you are the one.
“Whatttt???? Why can’t he hurry up?????”
The cards chose to be silent, and in the background crooned Phil Collins.
“You can’t hurry love No, you’ll just have to wait She said “love don’t come easy But it’s a game of give and take” You can’t hurry love, no you’ll just have to wait“
Copyright Mita Bhan. All Rights Reserved
Questions about the love of your life? Get in touch – mita.bhan@gmail.com for details.
Letting go is one of the hardest practices we will encounter, but once we do it, we wonder why we did’nt do it sooner. Many a times we find ourselves stuck about someone or something and people tell us to “let go”.
But how?
Here’s a few tried techniques that may work for you if you are struggling with something. Remember very very few of us have the ability to let go in a second. For the majority of us the process takes many tries. and time. Be patient, be persistent.
Write it down and burn it.
Struggling with a relationship that’s over. Disturbed by someone’s insensitive behaviour which you find difficult to forgive? Psychologists and Healers recommend writing a long letter to them, pouring out your feelings and allowing the process to be cathartic. Get in touch with your feelings, remember what happened and write out your soul. When you’re done, just burn the letter. Chances are you may feel lighter and purged of your pain.
2. Connect with the Inner You
Meditate and focus on your breathing. Start paying attention to your mind and your body. Start getting aligned with you, your space, your feelings and thoughts. Too many times when we find ourselves too attached to others the pain comes as a reminder to detach and focus entirely on your seperateness from them. Get in touch with YOU. Appreciate and accept your who you are. Understand you cannot change anyone but yourself. Allow any feelings to arise and be kind with yourself.
3. Look for Closure
Most relationships break up without closure. People disappear without giving answers. And those who are left holding on wait for a final goodbye or some sort of sign from them to close the chapter. When it doesn’t happen, we have no choice but to find closure within ourselves. Say “My relationship with X is over” out loud during meditation, write it out, or talk to a trusted soul. Acknowledge and accept that it’s over. When you reach a space that someone or something was not meant to be in your life for a reason (which you may or may never know) you allow yourself to disconnect and restart.
4. Forgive Yourself. Forgive Them
The process of forgiveness can take a long time and comes with its share of reliving the pain. The pain is but a passing energy, let it flow out, once and for all. Contemplate on all the mistakes you made, realise your humanness. Contemplate on their mistakes, realise their humanness. Consciously work at forgiving and allow the peace to come in.
5. Distract Yourself
I find this technique works the fastest and at a practical level, it’s do-able. The key is to be mindful. Whenever you find overthinking about someone or something, do an activity that breaks the pattern. Clean your drawer. Delete the Junk mail. Go outdoors. Use your hands. It works in seconds as an important part of the process of letting go.
Letting go takes time and when it doesn’t happen naturally, we need to push ourselves out of our comfort zones to speed up the process. Not easy but necessary for our own growth. We allow ourselves a second chance and as the wise ones have always told us “when one door closes, another opens.”
If you’re still finding it difficult to let go, reach out for a guided healing meditation on Letting Go to get you started on your process of restarting and reshaping your life. Email me at mita.bhan@gmail.com for details.
Like energies, Tarot readings also go through phases. In the past month or so, the majority of my sessions have had to do with workplace issues, namely bosses.
Here are a few examples :
“I have no problems with my spouse or my friends. But the minute I walk into work I feel uneasy with my boss. Why has this happened throughout my career? “
“She’s so uncommunicative with me, will keep all matters secret until the last minute and I end up staying back late and confused with her hurried instructions. I cannot perform. How do I deal with a Boss like her?”
“He puts me down in front of my team in meetings. It is humiliating and frustrating to work under his supervision. What can I expect if I quit this company?”
“Why have I always had insecure immediate bosses who never let me grow throughout my career?”
“I love my job but I cannot work with my Boss. He micromanages my whole life? How can I find peace and balance?”
Throughout our careers we will work with a variety of people. And like all relationships, there will be harmonious ones, and some that are downright unpleasant, uncomfortable and the reason for quitting. Most of the times it’s an issue with the Boss, either an immediate superior or the level above. Someone with whom the interaction is more frequent and uncomfortable, demotivating, unpleasant or draining. In such cases the chances of a karmic connection are revealed in a session, along with the suggestions on how to deal with the situation.
With each case being unique, with each lesson differing from soul to soul, the levels of Karma differ. Some may have an extremely stressful relationship with one particular boss and then move on to a place of harmony either with the superior or with other bosses. Where some may face difficult bosses in all their jobs throughout their career. What could be the lesson?
I would also like to add, that not all boss karma is tough or stressful. Some may have been blessed with true leaders as Bosses and have shared a mutually enriching relationship. The karmic lesson would then be to carry the blessing forward, knowing how to treat others when you become a Boss.
Situations will always vary, but like all relationships there will always be a lesson to learn and to grow from. Be it from a good boss or a challenging one.
For an indepth look at your work relationships, do get in touch for a session. Email/Whatsapp me at mita.bhan@gmail.com/9810138315
The Yin Yang Symbol. Everything has to come back to balance.
I still remember the first time she came for a session. Tears and rage burned in her eyes covering a deep wound in her heart.
“I want revenge. He’s seeing someone from his office romantically. AGAIN”
The Tarot confirmed an affair, but she knew it already. Women always know. The cards pointed at a narcissistic spouse, one who lived purely for himself, playing absent father to his 2 children and blaming this lady for all his misery. The kind who sing softly about their wives follies behind their back to sympathetic ears and bosoms. Her anger was beyond that. She didn’t care what he was telling his lovers, she only wanted him to feel her pain.
“This is not the first time. And this one won’t be the last. I don’t want to tell him I know this time. I only want revenge” She covered her face and wept in shame, the tears of a woman who’d never taken revenge before in her life.
“The last time he had an affair and I found out he promised to keep this marriage going for the sake of the children. Why did he break his vows? I want him to repent”
The messages she received urged her to find peace among her loved ones. Her friends and family her pets. To soak up all the unconditional love she possibly could. She needed to be strong first with those who loved her.
” This is a karmic relationship. Don’t get into the negative zone. No need for revenge, let karma do it for you.”
I could see she wasn’t convinced. But karma is like that. We don’t really believe in it until we’re hit by the impact of a karmic relationship. We like to believe it’s outside us, but somewhere in some way we too are responsible for creating a karmic situation where the pain cuts so deep, it almost seems unhealable.
“Forgive him and move on with your life”
I didn’t hear from her again till a few days ago when this came in the mail.
“Just wanted to say thank you for being the only one who told me not take revenge on my cheating husband and let karma only decide what his fate is. Everyone else gave me so many remedies to bring him closer, to destroy the other woman but nothing has worked. Some people even predicted that he would destroy himself. But I dont want to hurt him the way he has hurt me and my children. This IS a karmic relationsip, And then I remembered what your cards said to forgive him and move on. It is very very hard and has been a very painful journey to let go of the abuse and the adultery. But I am getting there. One night I felt so light because I had forgiven him and no longer began to feel any need to take revenge. I found the strength to live my own life and be a mother and father to my teenaged children. He is facing his own karma. His children do not want to be with him anymore. I have found so much strength with my friends and my family. Please share my story so others can learn please say a prayer for me”
Many prayers to you my brave lady. You have demonstrated what very few of us have achieved in this lifetime. The willingness and the ability to forgive the person who has hurt you the most. I pray you find greater strength and peace as a soul.
If you’ve read this far, please say a prayer for this lady.
Copyright Mita Bhan. All Rights Reserved.
For privacy sake, no names and details will ever be revealed, case studies are shared for all of us to learn from.
A beautiful explanation on Karmic relationship by Vijay Reddy –
“The relationship that drives people crazy with anger and frustration are from a past life. These are the people who really get under your skin and exasperate you endlessly. Very often, these karmic relationships are with people in your immediate family.
Karmic relationships mean that you’ve had prior lifetimes with this person, and you both were sent back to be together to work things out peacefully. This was your soul’s choice, although it was probably highly pushed upon you by your guides and angels who helped you script out much of your life. Usually a karmic relationship is someone with whom you had a battle or other harsh circumstances. You returned together in this lifetime to ensure that you’d work things out, and clear both of your energies.
If you don’t clear the energies in this lifetime, you’ll be pressured to continue to incarnate with this soul again and again and again.
And each lifetime, his or her relationship to you will continue to be close, either through genetics and familial bonds, or through friendship, marriage, or career. So, that annoying co-worker could be your mother or husband next lifetime unless you clear the energy with her in this one.
You’re brought together with the other soul so that you can forgive him or her. This doesn’t mean forgiving their actions. It means detoxing your soul by releasing anger toward them. You don’t have to hang out with the person, but you do need to release old pent-up toxic feelings. Holding in old anger is caustic and unhealthful.
It’s also a waste of time and energy to blame that person for family dramas and your own upset. Blaming is a projection of our ego, where we don’t own our own shadows and ego issues, and we put them in the basket labeled: “It’s their fault.” And while it may be true that that person is the instigator of traumas, blaming him or her doesn’t help the situation and doesn’t balance the karma between you.
Breaking the Karmic Cycle
The first step to break this karmic cycle is for you to take responsibility for its presence in your life. Your soul agreed to be with this person because it was necessary for your spiritual progress. So forgiving yourself is the ultimate secret to healing everything in all directions of time.
This involves forgiving yourself for entering this relationship whenever you did in the distant past lifetime. You probably were given red-flag warnings by your angels then, which you chose to ignore or override. Forgive yourself for ignoring those red flags, and vow to listen from now on. Life lessons only count if we learn from them.
You get infuriated by how this person behaves. But this is how this individual’s personality works and has always worked. You were the one who chose to try to be in a relationship with him or her long, long ago. You were the one who decided that all of those red flags that your angels sent you didn’t matter. You were the one who decided that you could change or fix the person.
Now it’s time to let go of that fantasy that this person could be as you desire or dream him or her to be. You’re not the other person’s Source, nor are you the author of his or her life scripts.
Karmic relationships are akin to having a tug-of-war. They’re power plays, where one person will pull and the other person will pull back. No one wins in karmic power plays. But when one person drops his or her side of the rope (through the process of forgiving him- or herself for getting into this tug-of-war in the first place), the power struggle stops.
Use prayers for forgiveness for other and self. Saying bless you to the soul. Find reasons to be grateful. Learn the lessons by asking them to be revealed.
A string of bad relationships and you’re suddenly confused.
“Why cant I find a stable man?” is a question most Tarot readers are asked. And the answer is almost always the same.
Because you’re trying in the wrong direction. Stability doesn’t come from another source. It comes from within us. And when we realise that we have no choice but to be responsible and accountable for our own selves, whether it’s pleasant or not we reach that space of stability and security.
A better question to ask the Tarot is;
“What do I need to learn if I want to attract a long term relationship into my life?”
Learn from your mistakes. Did you feel uncomfortable when he was out of sight? Did you always send many many more messages than you received? Did he get irritated when you asked him too many questions, especially about his friends. Did you stop meeting your friends because he became your priority. Did your plans revolve around his availability. Did he begin to avoid you when you acted needy? These were just a few of the signs.
Start going inwards. Become your own best friend. Find a space of peace that belongs to you and only you. Don’t expect it to happen in a day. But dont give up on trying either. Sooner or later you will begin to radiate a sense of self assuredness and stability that will not only draw the right men to you, it will show you that before we love another we have to love ourselves.
I’ve been telling her what to do and now she’s got herself a job in another city
And all she’s done since she’s reached there is complain about the people and then shout at me.
Why is she suffering?
A : She’s learning the lesson of Tolerance and Patience. What you’ve been telling her for the past 25 years to learn, Life will teach her in minutes.
Q : I always tell her to get along with all kinds of people , to overlook differences, to be respectful of another’s culture or religion, to just hang in there and understand the way they communicate before jumping to conclusions. Still, all she does is criticise and complain and sulk around people.
A : It’s her lesson. Not yours. You’ve done your best. Just let go.
(one second later)
Q: I was wondering now that the kids are grown up, if I should go on that cruise I was reading about. A few of my friends are planning to travel in a couple of months…..
Time and time again I wipe away the tears of a woman who couldn’t help but fall in love with a married man. The initial time they spent together were heady, happy and so full of potential he promised to leave his uncaring, insensitive wife and start a new life with her. And it was these very promises he made that kept the flame of their secret love burning all this while. But like all flames that get tired of flickering and fears burning out, the woman turns to the cards for answers to her questions.
Questions reveal deep inner angst and an urgent desire for answers to questions like “though there is apparent commitment from both ends, the relationship is not moving forward because of his divorce. Why the stagnation? Why does he keep disappearing in the relationship. What do I need know about his wife? Will I fulfil my dream of marriage?” There’s another man who is really interested in me? What should I know about him? Will I lose an opportunity for happiness if things with my married friends do not end in divorce?
And then the Tarot offers insights.
Instead of giving her dates and assurances, they bring her face to face with a side of her own self she may have been ignoring all these years. And she discovers the men who have loved her were simply too afraid to slip a ring on her finger. And it was time not to wait and hope for that gnawing feeling inside to go away, it was time to understand, heal and grow as a soul. Her married man wasn’t leaving his wife in a hurry, and it wasn’t about her in the first place it was about him fearing the stigma, fearing the pain he would cause his wife, and him fearing the deep neediness that seemed to exist in the eyes of this young woman.
The time had come in her life to go inwards and not expect the men in her life to give her the antidote to her pain.
If she chose to forget him and follow the attractions of the second man, the pattern would repeat itself. And in a couple of years time, she would be in the exact same spot, waiting for the new man to leave his wife. The lesson was not about the men, it was about her discovering her own inner strength. Which had nothing to do with a mangalsutra or a ring. Or the fact that somewhere she believed an unmarried woman is weaker. And hers was not a case of being financially dependent in the least as she was a professional success. Yes, tradition was behind this but she could no longer blame her parents, her uncles and her aunts for re-enforcing this fear. She needed to find the courage to feel that inner strength and discover that voice inside her which said “Yes I can, with or without him”
The minute we discover we are our own sources of security, we find that peace. We no longer exert pressure or expect too much from our loved ones to be with us. We give them that freedom in love. They can be who they are and want to be and all they need to know is that they are loved. Learning to relax in the present moment, to appreciate the blessings of her life would be the first steps in the journey. And the more secure she began to feel with her own self, the higher the chance of an enduring relationship with her men. Her own inner security was the key to her happiness in love.
I emailed the report with a prayer, that she understood and learned what was interpreted in her cards. Because the joy she would then discover would be greater than anyone could wish for her.
Get in touch for a Love reading on email/phone or in person at mita.bhan@gmail.com
