Have people been challenging you every time you express an opinion? Do you keep agreeing to do things that you really don’t want to do? Have loved ones been demanding more of your time than you can possibly give? Ignoring you or dismissing your importance in a relationship? Or simply feeling drained by trying too hard to be nice and accessible to way too many people. Chances are high that your aura is a little too open, and your personal boundaries are getting blurred. People are walking into your personal space leaving you emotional, tired, numbed out, confused or scattered.
Defining and maintaining personal boundaries are vital to maintain our sanity and energy levels. And the purpose is simple, to protect and take care of ourselves. We need to be able to tell other people when they are behaving unacceptably or simply demanding way too much of ourselves. All of us have this right to protect and defend our boundaries and it’s never to late to start setting limits about how much you want to give of yourself in your relationships.
Even loved ones can sometimes unwittingly drain us with their demands. My son is learning that when his mommy needs “me time” he has to leave me alone for a bit. Not only does he see me emerge happier after a 15 minute break from him, he too will learn that it is important to take time out for ourselves.
As adults, learning how to set boundaries is a vital part of learning to respect and love yourself. Remember we all deserve to be treated with respect and dignity . No one deserves to be lied to, abused, ignored or belittled. Boundaries help us communicate our needs clearly and put us on the path to self empowerment.
Setting boundaries is not threats on your part, its simply a clear communication where you express your demands and express clearly what is acceptable and unacceptable to you. For example, a young manwho’s father was pressuring him to join the family business learnt to say “No, I want to find my own wings” and a woman who’s angry spouse was tiring her out with his tantrums picked up the courage to say “Dont vent your anger on me, I will not have it”
If setting boundaries is new to you, expect a reaction and expect to be tested. Your partner, parent, child, friend may find this side of you unfamiliar and may provoke you further or not take you seriously. Reassert yourself if necessary. Stick to your guns. Remember at the end of the day it’s your peace of mind that matters.
Your aura is your personal shield and it grows more defined as you become more and more aware of your self. Practice saying “no, let me be in peace” silently or out loud everyday.
Your Boundary Bill of Rights by Cat Burton
- You have the Right to be treated with respect.
- You have the Right to say NO without feeling guilty.
- You have the Right to make a mistake.
- You have a Right to ask for what you want and need.
- You have the Right to express your feelings and opinions.
- You have the Right to change your mind.
- You have the Right to feel good about yourself no matter what others
- You have the Right to act in your own best interest as long as you don’t
violate others in the process.
Enough said, I do hope this information helps you. Here’s a quote that encapsulates this and I hope it inspires you the way it inspired me.
We need to find the courage to say ‘NO’ to the things and people that are not serving us if we want to rediscover ourselves and live our lives with authenticity.
— Dr. Barbara DeAngelis