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La Douleur Exquise, a French phrase for the pain of wanting the love of someone unattainable
Goddess Deck, personal collection

He couldn’t help him himself. He didn’t choose to fall in love. It just happened, the only problem was she was married and leaving her spouse was simply out of the question. When I read his cards I could see the deep love he shared with her – the kind of love where happiness and sadness went hand in hand.

He was younger than her. Settled in a high paying job. Perfectly eligible for marriage himself. And his mother and aunts made sure they showed him pictures of various girls who they felt would be his Mrs Right. Most of the time he ignored them and sometimes would even shout at them for bothering him, his voice riddled in pain and frustration.

He had tried letting go. Multiple times. In multiple ways. But somehow she found her way back into his heart and once again they’d chat, or meet. And once again he’d return to his room lying awake through the night, wondering if this was his future.

His question was simple.

“Why has she come into my life if I cannot have her as my wife?”

For one second look at this question not as a human being. But as a soul.

Love is never limited to romantic love. Love is like an umbrella encapsulating the different shades of love. And if we as souls want to experience the true meaning of Love, we need to experience every aspect of love. The joy, the pain, the longing, the peace. In lifetime after lifetime. Be it unrequited love, sibling love, platonic love, romantic love, spiritual love. Each lifetime brings a different scenario, a different learning. Lessons would be repeated until the learning was complete. And the advanced lessons would get harder.

“So what is my Soul Learning?” he asked

To accept and not resist. Love is harmony. Love is being at peace. First with ourselves and then with the other. A part of you still struggles and suffers this way. Make peace with the side of you that cries in pain. Begin to fall in love with yourself. Which part of you brings you the greatest happiness, which part of you still struggles. Embrace the shadows, find completion in yourself. Accept yourself wholly.

“And then……”

When you accept your self, you accept the other unconditionally and the situation for what it is in reality, not the way you would like it to be, something we all do when we fall in love. We think of “what if” “why isn’t it? instead of appreciating the greatest lesson in life. Love.

“You mean love her unconditionally but ….wouldn’t it would hurt so much…”his voice broke for a second.

The feeling of love we all seek, does not lie in the receiving. It exists in the giving.

“I get it”

The deck was closed. The lesson learnt. For not just the young seeker in love, but also his old Tarot card reader.

Copyright Mita Bhan. All Rights Reserved.

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